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18 Signs You're an Apple Enthusiast: A Guide for Non-Fans

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I'm definitely an Apple aficionado.

That's one of the reasons I launched this venture. I wanted to create content about Apple's offerings and produce videos that would give me an excuse to engage with them as much as possible.

Let’s face it: unless you have ample financial resources or a profession that requires it, investing in Apple devices is a luxury. It has always been this way.

Apple enthusiasts often receive negative stereotypes, seen as overly gullible or with more disposable income than common sense. While this is clearly a misconception, the debate between Apple and other brands often ignites heated discussions in the comments section of my YouTube videos, with Apple frequently portrayed unfavorably.

However, being British, I’m quite skilled at poking fun at myself. With this in mind, and acknowledging my own Apple fandom, I thought it would be entertaining to compile a list of characteristics that typify an Apple devotee.

So, should you notice any patterns in someone's behavior that suggest they might be a little too attached to their iPhones, feel free to reference this guide.

A Quick Note Before We Begin I share many traits with the individuals on this list, though regular readers might spot a few Apple fan characteristics I don't embody (I assure you, there are a couple).

Turn this into a festive drinking game if you wish; take a sip of your favorite holiday drink each time you think, “Well, that’s definitely me.”

18 Traits of Apple Enthusiasts Identifying Apple fans isn't particularly challenging. If you've felt the need to consult this list while assessing someone’s Apple loyalty, you’re already halfway there.

It's worth noting that this compilation isn’t exhaustive. It shouldn't be considered the ultimate guide for Apple fandom research; I suggest complementing it with additional studies, academic papers, and documentaries. This is for multiple reasons, primarily because I lost interest in listing potential traits and realized I was merely describing myself.

Without further ado, here are 18 characteristics of genuine Apple enthusiasts.

1. They defend the Magic Mouse charging method For those who might not know, charging Apple’s classic mouse requires flipping it upside down to plug in a Lightning cable.

This, of course, makes it unusable during charging, ironically rendering it the least magical device in Apple's lineup.

The Apple enthusiast will assert: “If you charge it regularly, this is a non-issue. Stop complaining.”

2. They are oblivious to the fact that AirPods Max cannot be powered off Apple’s initial foray into the over-ear noise-canceling headphone market has been fascinating to follow.

AirPods Max are beautifully crafted and come with all the delightful Apple ecosystem perks, including the impressive Spatial Audio feature.

However, they can't be turned off, which can be infuriating.

The Apple enthusiast will argue: “You don’t need to turn them off! Just place them in their lovely case, and they’ll sleep!”

3. They rave about the TouchBar Remember the TouchBar?

Some individuals have fond memories of Apple’s peculiar and entirely unnecessary evolution of the laptop keyboard.

The Apple enthusiast will lament: “I can't believe they removed the TouchBar! I used it for loads of things. It shouldn’t have been eliminated.”

4. It MUST be available in white An iconic advertising campaign inadvertently instilled a desire among true Apple fans for all products to be offered in white.

The dancing silhouettes with iconic white earbuds were a triumph for the iPod, leading to the belief that every Apple product must also come in white.

The Apple enthusiast will say: “I don’t care about that color; why isn’t it available in white? This wouldn't have happened under Jony Ive.”

5. Android? No way! Anyone who has spent time with an Android device knows that most features arrive there first. The iPhone often lags when it comes to new smartphone capabilities.

While this is true for many Apple products, it's the phone sector where claims of “we’ve seen this before” are most prevalent.

The Apple enthusiast will counter: “Sure, but Android has never quite nailed it. Apple only implements features once they’ve perfected them.”

6. USB-C? What’s the fuss? Apple is desperately clinging to its proprietary charging and data port, like a lone soldier guarding a dwindling outpost as the enemy advances.

The issue is that every other manufacturer transitioned to USB-C long ago, and Apple has now reached the ridiculous point where even its own TV remote has adopted the industry-standard port before the iPhone.

The Apple enthusiast will claim: “I have plenty of Lightning cables. Why would I need another type?”

7. They own an 11-inch iPad Pro The iPad lineup is convoluted, especially if you have a decent budget and seek a standard-sized iPad with a solid feature set.

Which should you choose—the iPad Air or the 11" iPad Pro? With a small price difference and a strikingly similar design, it’s easy to mistakenly buy the wrong iPad.

The Apple enthusiast will insist: “The 11” iPad is the best one available. The iPad Air is pointless.”

8. They’d pay extra—if it were black Want a Magic Keyboard with Touch ID and a numeric keypad? That’ll be £179.

Oh, you'd like it in black? That’ll be £199. Yes, it’s the same keyboard, just in black.

This isn’t an isolated incident; Apple often charges more for black versions of various products.

The Apple enthusiast will state: “But look how stylish it is in black!”

9. They react physically to Windows devices Most Mac users resemble ex-smokers; although they may have started on Windows, they now despise its presence in contemporary society.

I've witnessed them grimace or recoil if a Windows laptop is nearby.

The Apple enthusiast will say: “Oh no, please take that away! I never want to see a blue screen again.”

10. They don't notice the notch Instead of trusting under-display technology, Apple has opted to cut away sections of its device displays to accommodate camera and sensor hardware.

This design choice has permeated every Apple product with a display, excluding the iPad and iMac, although one wonders how long those will escape the digital scalpel.

The Apple enthusiast will argue: “If you focus on the notch more than your work, you’re not concentrating enough.”

11. “Leave the Dynamic Island alone” Apple is known for naming its product features. Some are aptly descriptive and useful, while others, like ‘Dynamic Island,’ are baffling.

No one, not even those at Apple, knows how that name relates to the latest iteration of the notch, but it appears silly to everyone—unless you're a true Apple enthusiast.

The Apple enthusiast will proclaim: “OMG I adore the Dynamic Island. It’s so clever—Samsung would never conceive of this!”

12. They appreciated Tim's generosity When Tim and Bono touched fingers and magically dropped U2’s Songs of Innocence album into the libraries of 500 million iTunes users in 2014, it was met with widespread disapproval.

That smile quickly vanished as he realized the move had upset most users—except for a select few.

The Apple enthusiast will gush: “I can’t believe they gifted us U2’s latest album! And it’s on all my devices—forever!”

13. They know what an iPod Hi-Fi is (and likely own one) The HomePod wasn’t Apple's first venture into home audio, but if you’re aware of the iPod Hi-Fi, you’re already in the know.

If you don’t, well, you might not be cool enough.

The Apple enthusiast will say: “Want to check out my iPod Hi-Fi?”

14. They recognize the Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh (and probably don’t own one) Released in 1997 as a limited edition, the Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh celebrated the company’s 20th birthday.

With a 250Mhz PowerPC chip and a custom-made Bose sound system, it was discontinued after just a year by Jobs, who allegedly “hated” it.

The Apple enthusiast will claim: “It was simply too advanced for its time.”

15. They have an obsession with Apple stickers Purchasing almost any Apple product comes with a couple of stickers featuring the logo.

While no one truly uses them, die-hard Apple fans are fanatical about them and become furious if Apple doesn’t provide the correct colors.

The Apple enthusiast will ask: “Why didn't they include International Orange stickers with the Apple Watch Ultra?”

16. They adored the first Apple Watch Remember the first Apple Watch? It was an incredible yet perplexing product.

What was its purpose? A fitness tracker? A communicator? A device for sending heartbeats to others (that wasn’t creepy at all, right)?

The Apple enthusiast will say: “I’ve had the Apple Watch since the beginning. People just didn’t get the first version.”

17. They miss the butterfly keyboard We could speculate endlessly about how Apple’s flawed butterfly keyboard came to be. Who approved it despite numerous recalls and terrible press coverage?

We may never know the full story, but we do know it was a disaster.

The Apple enthusiast will say: “I don’t understand the fuss—typing on it was great. I’m indifferent to keyboards.”

18. They own an Apple Watch Ultra In reality, no one needs an Apple Watch Ultra.

The Apple enthusiast will say: “I love my Apple Watch Ultra. Sorry? I only run 5K occasionally, but it’s so efficient at tracking my park runs.”

...and I adore them all There’s a wonderfully absurd aspect to being an Apple fan. We all understand that Tim and his team occasionally make ludicrous decisions, and no matter how passionately we defend them, their products are undeniably pricey.

But who cares? If you can afford to splurge on costly gadgets and laptops with part of the screen removed, it’s your money to spend as you wish!

Apple brings immense joy to the right individuals, and I’m proud to be part of that exclusive community.

Before You Leave Join My Behind-the-Scenes Mailing List If you enjoy my writing, it's just a glimpse of what I offer on Medium. I’m a paying member myself and highly recommend it. Click here to join (a portion of your membership fee will support my work!).

Originally published at https://markellisreviews.com on December 22, 2022.

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