The Gender Divide in Childcare

Recently, I tuned into a podcast that stirred up some frustration within me. The insightful host, Anna Whitehouse, has been a strong advocate for flexible work arrangements for mothers in the UK. Although I’m currently focused on my writing here on Medium, I have a background in administrative work within the NHS.

My previous job allowed a bit of flexibility, which meant I could manage school drop-offs and pick-ups daily. However, navigating school holidays was a different challenge altogether. Coordinating schedules between two parents with limited vacation time felt like a military operation.

One statement from Anna really resonated with me: "When the kids were sick, they always called me, never their dad, even though he shares parental responsibilities and is listed as an emergency contact."

It was invariably me who took the time off to care for our sick child or to arrange childcare during school breaks, all while managing household responsibilities.

In retrospect, I rarely questioned this dynamic. When the nursery or school called, I would simply gather my things and leave. My daughter’s health took precedence over my job, but my husband didn’t seem to share that same perspective. I can’t recall a single instance when he came home early to relieve me or stayed home instead of me.

"Where’s Daddy? Babysitting?" No, he’s parenting; he’s not just a temporary caregiver for his own child. This misconception deeply frustrates me; it implies that fathers deserve praise for merely participating in their children’s care, rather than being seen as equal partners in parenting.

When my eldest contracted chicken pox, my boss was outraged that I needed a few days off to care for her, despite being a mother herself. Her attitude ultimately contributed to my decision to leave that job.

My younger sister has faced similar issues, receiving reprimands from a female boss regarding her need to leave early or take time off for her sick child. My older sister, a single parent who is self-employed, still finds herself primarily responsible for their children’s care, even with their father present but often unavailable.

The podcast also addressed how women are frequently passed over for job opportunities or promotions due to having children, which is a blatant form of discrimination. Anna mentioned hearing about newly married women being denied promotions because it was "assumed" they would soon become pregnant and require time away from work.

Do men experience the same disadvantages in their careers due to parenthood? I doubt it.

While I understand that businesses cannot operate solely within school hours or during term time, I believe I speak for many women who are trying to juggle these responsibilities when I say that a little more understanding and flexibility would go a long way.

I could elaborate further, but that’s enough of my rant for now. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts!