Overcoming Approach Anxiety: A Male Extrovert's Journey
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Chapter 1: Understanding the Roots of Approach Anxiety
My urge to connect with others has always been strong. However, as I transitioned into high school, I found myself grappling with severe social anxiety. The fear became so overwhelming that I often chose to have lunch in the restroom rather than face my peers. I realized something had to change. As a gamer, I decided to tackle this challenge like a series of levels in a game, each needing to be completed to overcome my anxiety.
- Level 1: Observing
- Level 2: Acknowledging with a Nod
- Level 3: Adding a Smile
- Level 4: Waving Gently
I began at level one, progressing through each step after successfully completing it with five different strangers.
Section 1.1: Level 1 - Observing
The first step involved developing the habit of looking at people as I walked by. Bonus points were awarded for making eye contact. If eye contact felt too daunting, I would simply direct my gaze toward them. As long as I wasn't looking down or away, I viewed that moment as a success. I made sure not to distract myself with my phone, allowing me to confront the fear head-on. The aim of this step was to lessen the anxiety associated with engaging with strangers.
Section 1.2: Level 2 - Acknowledging with a Nod
What began as a strategy to cope with my social anxiety evolved into a signature gesture among my friends, affectionately dubbed the "Aaron nod." Once I felt comfortable looking in someone's direction, I added a head nod as I passed by. While it might feel awkward initially, the majority of people either nodded back or ignored me entirely. This step helped me realize how invisible I often was, alleviating some of the pressure I placed on myself.
Subsection 1.2.1: Level 3 - Adding a Smile
As men, we frequently maintain a neutral expression. Now, while passing by a stranger, I would nod and include a small smile. This increased the likelihood of being noticed, which was a positive outcome. This step revealed that most people are genuinely kind, and if they notice me, they are likely to smile back. The judgment from strangers isn't as harsh as one might believe, at least not directly.
Subsection 1.2.2: Level 4 - Waving Gently
The final step before I successfully conquered my approach anxiety involved incorporating more expressive body language through a gentle wave. This friendly gesture helped tie together my greeting while remaining appropriate. By the time I was comfortable performing all these actions with a stranger, much of my anxiety had naturally diminished.
Chapter 2: Conclusion and Reflection
These steps proved effective for me. While they may not completely eliminate your social anxiety in the same way, I strongly believe that integrating these practices into your daily routine can provide some relief. Concrete strategies for addressing these fears are not always readily available.
What specific interactions trigger your social anxiety? Personally, I still experience a bit of anxiety before attending Zoom calls.
This video, "How I Destroyed My Approach Anxiety (+ Infield)," offers insights into overcoming approach anxiety in real-world scenarios.
In "How to Overcome APPROACH ANXIETY: Telling the Truth Under Imaginary Circumstances," the discussion focuses on addressing the fears of social interaction through honest communication strategies.