Embracing Personal Growth: Confronting Imposter Syndrome
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Chapter 1: A Journey of Self-Discovery
What should you do when you uncover what you perceive to be your biggest flaw?
During my high school years, I often felt like an inadequate student. Much of my academic experience revolved around struggling with math homework at the kitchen table with my dad. Those moments were filled with tears and frustration, leading me to develop a negative self-image.
Whenever I received a poor grade, my father was eager to ensure I received extra help, often driving me to early tutoring sessions. Unfortunately, this scenario occurred more frequently than I would have liked, reinforcing my belief that I was not a good student.
This mindset persisted into college, where I set my expectations low. I never dreamed of making it onto the dean's list; my primary goal was merely to pass and progress to the next class.
When the pandemic struck, a part of me felt relieved to escape the classroom environment. The online learning experience had left me feeling burnt out, as I struggled to manage even the simplest tasks.
The Discovery
Recently, while sorting through some old papers after a move, I stumbled upon my high school transcript. Initially, these documents seemed insignificant, mostly containing information about a savings account I had emptied to relocate to Michigan. However, when I pulled out my transcript, I felt a wave of anxiety mixed with curiosity.
"This should be interesting," I remarked to my boyfriend as I waved the paper in front of him. "It’s my high school transcript, and I know I wasn't exactly a star student."
To my surprise, as we examined the document together, I realized that my memories did not align with the reality presented on that paper. I had never failed a class; in fact, my lowest grades were just a couple of Cs.
"I thought you said you weren’t a good student," my boyfriend quipped.
"I genuinely believed that," I replied.
The stark contrast between my self-perception and the actual evidence caught me off guard.
I decided to reach out to my dad, asking, "Was I a bad student?"
His response was swift: "No, you were never a bad student. Quite the opposite, actually."
I texted back, "I always thought I was."
My dad acknowledged that he noticed my struggle with Imposter Syndrome but felt helpless in how to address it. He expressed concern about my tendency to self-sabotage and pointed out that the only barrier to my success was my own mindset.
"You were never fair to yourself," he remarked.
The Realization
The truth is, I excelled academically. My teachers often rewarded my efforts with extra credit because I consistently went above and beyond on assignments. In college, I thrived in my coursework, particularly in my technical film class, where I received high praise for my projects. I later learned that my professor had retained all of my work.
Even in classes unrelated to my major, I performed well. I achieved the highest score in my sociology exam and received numerous compliments from my political science professor.
This begs the question: why did I so harshly criticize myself and convince myself that I was a struggling student?
The Ongoing Battle with Imposter Syndrome
The crux of the issue lies in my inability to reconcile my self-image with my actual accomplishments. The disconnect between how I perceived myself and the evidence of my abilities was jarring.
Months have passed since I discovered my transcript, yet I remain uncertain about how to process this realization. I’ve begun journaling in an effort to document my life and achievements, hoping to create tangible evidence against the negative thoughts that plague me.
However, the voice that tells me I am inadequate continues to resonate within me. This internal struggle has become a significant challenge in my life, and I find myself at a loss regarding how to confront it.
What do you do when you uncover a part of yourself that feels deeply flawed? Do you have any insights, dear reader? Because I certainly do not.
Chapter 2: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
In this video, titled "You're NOT a FRAUD: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome," learn strategies to confront and overcome the feelings associated with Imposter Syndrome.
The second video, "A Simple Way to Deal With Imposter Syndrome," offers practical advice on managing self-doubt and building confidence in your abilities.