Chapter 1: The Nature of Splitting

Splitting is a psychological mechanism frequently observed in individuals with cluster B personality disorders such as Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This phenomenon occurs when an individual suddenly shifts their perception of someone from wholly positive to entirely negative. This drastic change can often be traced back to childhood experiences, particularly for those raised by a parent exhibiting narcissistic traits. Such parents often oscillate between presenting a façade of normalcy and revealing their true, unmasked selves, leading to profound cognitive dissonance in their children.

Narcissistic and antisocial individuals, often referred to as "golden children," may split without clear reasons due to their impaired emotional growth, which results from the conflicting experiences of being both indulged and abused. For them, once someone is deemed "all bad," that perception tends to remain unchanged, even if they maintain a relationship with that person, cycling through phases of idealization, devaluation, and ultimate discard. Unfortunately, this pattern leaves them incapable of forming genuine emotional connections.

In contrast, those with HPD and BPD, often seen as "invisible" or "scapegoat" children, exhibit an intense attachment to the idea of others being "all good." Their splits, when they occur, are typically fleeting, making them susceptible to repeated cycles of manipulation and trauma bonding with narcissists or sociopaths. This tendency stems from a learned survival mechanism developed in response to childhood neglect or abuse, where denying the reality of a parent's true nature became a protective strategy. This self-denial leads to a belief that love must be earned.

When I experience a splitting episode, it is usually triggered by overt betrayal or a severe violation of trust. For instance, instances of infidelity or abusive behavior can lead to a momentary shift in my perception of the other person.

The first video, "SPLITTING IN BORDERLINE AND NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: WHAT IT DOES TO US IN CHILDHOOD," delves into the long-lasting effects of these behaviors stemming from childhood experiences.

Chapter 2: Emotional Responses to Splitting

When individuals with BPD experience a collapse, they often revert to a mental state of questioning their worth, while narcissists may fall into feelings of shame. This shared emotional turmoil makes it challenging for both parties to remain in these states for extended periods.

Many people wonder if those with personality disorders remember what transpires during a splitting episode. Personally, I can recall the events, having documented my experiences since I was a child, even though my understanding of these episodes only developed years later. While I might not recount every detail accurately, I strive to capture the essence of those moments in my writings.

Regrettably, I often feel remorse for things I've said during those episodes, even when the actions of others warrant a reaction. For instance, I once expressed a hurtful comment about an abuser during a moment of rage, despite their own heinous actions against me. This reaction stems from a deep-seated empathy that contrasts sharply with the lack of emotional awareness exhibited by narcissists, who typically deflect blame rather than reflect on their actions.

The second video, "Narcissistic & Borderline splitting," provides further insights into the complexities of these emotional responses and the misunderstandings that often arise.

In conclusion, it is essential to recognize that while splitting can lead to harmful interactions, it is rooted in profound emotional struggles and a desire for connection. Individuals with BPD often grapple with feelings of guilt and self-blame, seeking to reconcile their experiences with their understanding of love and worthiness. The journey toward healing involves acknowledging these intricate emotions and redirecting the blame to those who cause harm, rather than internalizing it.

Overall, the stigmatization of individuals with cluster B personality disorders, largely fueled by narcissists projecting their self-loathing, is both damaging and unjust. Everyone experiences trauma and emotional challenges at various points in their lives. It is crucial to approach these issues with empathy and understanding, rather than further perpetuating stigma.

For more resources and support, consider visiting my website or checking out my latest book, Hunted Carrion: Sonnets to a Stalker, now available on Amazon.