# Understanding the Importance of Parenting Over Friendship
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Chapter 1: The Necessity of Parenting
Many parents aspire to cultivate warm, friendly bonds with their children; however, they often struggle to achieve this goal effectively.
A true friendship with a child can only emerge once they have matured and established their independence. Attempts to foster a peer-like relationship too early can result in serious emotional and behavioral issues, sometimes necessitating intervention from psychologists or medical professionals.
Here are some potential negative outcomes of parenting that leans too heavily on friendship:
- Behavioral Issues: Disobedience, conflicts, tantrums, hyperactivity, aggression, and antisocial behavior.
- Emotional Disturbances: Isolation, anxiety, apathy, depression, and various fears.
- Health Problems: These can escalate to severe health concerns.
The question arises: why do these issues develop?
Parents hold a critical role in a child's life; they are responsible for providing structure, safety, and guidance. The younger the child, the more vital a stable parental figure becomes, one who delineates acceptable behavior and intervenes when necessary. Additionally, parents should embody kindness and assist in navigating the complexities of the world.
In contrast, friendships are based on equality. Friends do not require obedience, share secrets, and do not assume responsibility for one another; they exist primarily for enjoyment.
For instance, one of my clients expressed pride in the tumultuous relationship her mother had with men. This dynamic stemmed from her mother confiding personal relationship struggles, undermining her parental authority over the years.
A lack of clear boundaries often leads to confusion in children about acceptable behavior, which can cause disobedience. In some instances, children may only become seriously ill when their parents step up, assuming the role of decision-makers and accepting responsibility.
Section 1.1: Consequences of Role Confusion
The importance of maintaining distinct boundaries between parental and friendly roles cannot be overstated.
Subsection 1.1.1: Understanding Healthy Boundaries
Section 1.2: The Role of Authority in Parenting
Establishing authority is essential for effective parenting. It is crucial that children understand that their parents are there to guide and protect them, and that this role differs significantly from that of a friend.
Chapter 2: Insights from Experts
To further explore these themes, consider the following videos:
The first video, "Are you your child's friend or parent? Why the role is both", delves into the complexities of parenting versus friendship, discussing the balance parents must achieve in these roles.
The second video, "Avoid This Mistake: Why Parents and Children Shouldn't Be Friends", emphasizes the potential pitfalls of blurring these essential roles in a child's development.