It’s late at night, and I find myself tucked away in my home office, seeking refuge from the world.

My wife, kids, dogs, and cats are all peacefully sleeping after a joyous holiday celebration.

This month also signifies another milestone in my marriage, as it marks the anniversary of the day my wife and I made our union official at my high school.

Surviving seven years together without a major fallout gives me the urge to share some reflections and insights from our journey.

• For those yet to embark on this path, consider this a friendly nudge.
• For those currently navigating it, here's a supportive fist bump and a baby wipe.
• For those who have advanced further or moved on, feel free to verify my calculations (but be gentle).

Before you critique my thoughts, understand that I’m still figuring out my role as a husband and a parent, and even as a writer.

But since you’re reading this, I hope you’ll indulge me.

1. Embrace a Lifelong Commitment

According to the Census Bureau, the divorce rate in the US was about 7 per 1,000 women in 2021, which is an improvement from a decade ago.

I never entered this lifelong commitment with the mindset that it might be temporary.

With my parents' 42-year marriage as a backdrop, I regard marriage as a serious promise to navigate life together, come what may.

It’s not merely about avoiding divorce; it’s about facing the world as a united front, no matter the challenges that arise.

Having children amplifies the stakes.

2. Mutual Respect is Key

When my wife and I first met, we were distinct individuals.

We didn’t seek to complete each other; instead, we formed a partnership where respect for each other’s boundaries is paramount.

I’m still learning the importance of boundaries, having grown up in a household where they were nonexistent, but my wife has always understood this concept well.

Our kids are also figuring this out—toddlers lack boundaries, while a six-year-old certainly has opinions to express.

3. Resolve Conflicts Daily

A lesson from my father has stuck with me: never let disputes linger.

Growing up, I witnessed my parents argue over various issues, yet they always found a way to resolve their differences before sleep.

Their ability to compromise and apologize served as a model for my own discussions with my wife about family matters.

4. Maintain Connection

Connection is essential—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Whether we’re at home or apart, we check in with each other at least twice a day, even if it’s just to say “I love you.”

Parenting makes this connection even more crucial, as it provides an outlet for sharing the more challenging moments we face.

5. Be Authentic

From the beginning, my wife was true to herself, and I was genuine as well.

While we put our best selves forward, we never pretended to be someone we weren’t.

As we evolve over the years, it’s essential to continue growing individually rather than stagnating for the sake of the marriage.

6. Keep It Light

I aim to make my wife laugh daily, as humor lightens the load during tough times.

With the chaos of parenting—our toddler’s antics often leave us exasperated but also amused—it’s crucial to share laughter to ease the journey ahead.

7. Practice Forgiveness

Lastly, forgiveness has been vital to our marriage.

Seven years might seem brief to some, but it’s a time filled with both minor and significant mistakes.

I’ve learned to accept my wife for who she is and to embrace her growth, just as I commit to my own.

Unconditional love is challenging, but it’s necessary for a healthy long-term relationship.

Reality is Not Drama

As a final thought in this age of streaming, it's important to remember that real-life relationships often don’t mirror the drama of romantic comedies.

While my wife and I have navigated unique experiences, such as living abroad and unexpected medical emergencies, we often joke about how these events shape our lives together.

There’s so much more to share from our journey, but I hope these insights resonate with you at whatever stage you find yourself in.

Thank you for sticking around until the end!

I enjoy sharing snippets of my life as I grow more confident in my writing, and I hope you find it as enjoyable to read as I do to write.

If you’re curious about more of my reflections, feel free to check out my posts or newsletter.

P.S. My tone might reflect a bit of sarcasm, likely stemming from a recent holiday adventure that ended with a trip to the ER. Thankfully, everything turned out fine.

Originally published at https://theminedmine.beehiiv.com.

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