Chapter 1: Understanding Unapologetic Living

Living life without apologies means being aware of what you genuinely desire and know to be right, as opposed to what society expects of you. It involves choosing to be authentic, even when the fear of judgment looms large. It’s about recognizing your inherent worth and not seeking validation from others.

Individuals with disabilities often grapple with feelings of inadequacy, sometimes feeling compelled to apologize for their limitations or the pace at which they move. Conversely, when they display confidence, they might feel guilty for being perceived as too self-assured. This duality can lead to feelings of shame or regret about their actions or beliefs.

Despite my own challenges, including a permanent limp and a spastic left hand, I have discovered that seeking approval from others is futile. I am enough as I am. Everyone has their own set of doubts and limitations, but what matters most is to concentrate on what you truly want from life. Don’t let the fear of others' opinions hold you back.

I refuse to feel embarrassed about my appearance or my physical abilities.

My son, who was with me when I suffered a stroke in 1999, had a clever way of handling the stares we received in public. He would return their gaze, as if to say, “How dare you stare at my mother for not walking perfectly.”

I had an ex-husband who set a poor example for our children by not accommodating my slower pace, making it clear he was uncomfortable with my condition.

Despite facing ridicule and a lack of acceptance, I choose to live unapologetically, continuing with my life as if there’s nothing out of the ordinary.

After my marriage ended, I ventured back into dating. Many men in my age group (60+) were surprised to see my cane and limp. After some initial online chats, a few expressed regret for having viewed me as a romantic interest, as if a disability somehow negated that possibility. Perhaps an apology would have been more fitting if they hadn’t considered my worth simply because of my disability.

I tend to overlook my limitations and engage in activities that often surprise people. For over 23 years, I have been riding horses weekly and have even found the confidence to perform with a band in my community and sing Karaoke regularly.

The key to living unapologetically is to disregard the opinions of others. While I may appear different due to my spasticity and weakness, I won’t allow those traits to define who I am.

You might also have insecurities. Remember, you can live freely without making apologies for them if you keep your focus on your desires. Embrace your authenticity. Be true to yourself and stop seeking validation from others.

Chapter 2: The Journey to Confidence

Explore clips of my riding and singing journey on my YouTube channel:

Victoria Ponte

An unstoppable stroke survivor who loves riding horses and singing Karaoke.

www.youtube.com

Victoria Ponte — 2024.