Chapter 1: The Allure of Medium

I might have developed a fondness for Medium, and I couldn't be happier about it.

While I'd love to share a personal photo of myself immersed in reading your articles or comments, I'm not a fan of selfies. So, I opted for this cheerful image from Unsplash, which reflects my joy while engaging with content.

Admittedly, the term “addiction” can be alarming, yet it might hold some truth in my case. Each morning, I find myself pondering what to write, often juggling 10 to 12 ideas vying for my focus. Some of these concepts stem from articles I read the previous day, while others have lingered in my drafts for weeks, often because they touch on challenging subjects—childhood memories, friends’ vulnerabilities, or dark, haunting books that I need to muster the courage to revisit. Additionally, I sometimes struggle to articulate these thoughts in English and must review grammar rules before proceeding. Regardless, a significant portion of my mental space is now dedicated to Medium.

Many therapists assert that addiction can serve as a self-regulation strategy. This was certainly true for me during the pandemic, particularly with social media platforms like Facebook. I found myself mindlessly scrolling, obsessively checking notifications, and reacting to anything that triggered my emotions. This behavior became a distraction from my worries, albeit a time-consuming one that offered no real solutions.

To combat this, I turned to meditation and dancing. Yet, the habit was so ingrained that I spent an absurd amount of time engaging in this unproductive behavior. While meditation is a constructive use of time, enhancing my resilience, scrolling felt like the opposite, leading to guilt and frustration over my inability to break free from it.

Dr. Gabor Maté describes addiction as a behavior that provides temporary relief or pleasure but results in negative consequences, making it hard to relinquish. This definition extends beyond substances to encompass a wide range of human behaviors— from sex and eating to shopping, gambling, extreme sports, TV, and compulsive internet use. Clearly, my connection to social media had taken on an addictive quality, serving merely as a coping mechanism.

However, after watching some of Dr. Maté's lectures, a light bulb went off: I realized I was using this behavior to cope, a common experience for many. I considered myself fortunate that it wasn't a substance addiction, at least not one that required financial expenditure. While it cost me time, a non-renewable resource, I began to ponder how I could redirect this time into something constructive. Why not turn my focus inward, exploring my thoughts and reactions? Thus, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery.

The shift in my approach to social media transformed my experience. I questioned why I should engage with Facebook, a platform that felt toxic. Although I had been aware of Medium for over a year, I hesitated to see myself as a worthy contributor. It was time for a new challenge. I purchased a full-year membership, yet for an entire month, I didn't write a single article—a classic case of procrastination.

The mere thought of writing triggered anxiety. Fortunately, a virtual friend introduced me to Simon Sinek's video on the difference between feeling nervous and excited, which marked the beginning of my adventure in intentional reframing.

The Power of Reframing

“Disillusion is the greatest gift I can give you.”

As I immersed myself in Medium, I grappled with a familiar compulsion: was I merely substituting one addiction for another? For something to qualify as an addiction, it must encompass all the defining traits. I found myself struggling to resist checking Medium, getting lost in articles and comments, and even finding it hard to stop writing when I was in a creative flow.

Nevertheless, I maintained a delicate balance by establishing a routine. I set limits on reading and commenting time, ensuring I took breaks every hour. Eye health was a concern, as I already wore glasses, so I aimed to incorporate more pauses into my reading sessions. I'm delighted to report that this strategy has been effective. Writing has become easier, and I’m starting to view myself as a writer, which is a positive shift in my identity.

Moreover, I confronted a significant barrier to my writing process—a lifelong struggle rooted in childhood memories. I often heard my father belittle my mother for her work, dismissing it as trivial. His voice echoed in my mind whenever I spent hours writing but produced little. I frequently abandoned articles, seeking refuge in chores like washing dishes to escape his critical voice.

But then I tried a new tactic. When the urge to stop writing arose and that inner critic began to speak, I paused and acknowledged its presence. “Ah, there you are again! Go ahead, I’m listening,” I would say, allowing myself to observe rather than react.

Sharing these experiences with empathetic friends proved invaluable. They didn't offer solutions; they simply listened without judgment, which helped immensely.

Yesterday marked a pivotal moment. For the first time since embarking on this journey, I sat down to read and write without guilt or anxiety. I felt gratitude—reading and writing are privileges, and having supportive fellow writers following my work is a gift.

Yet, the temptation to check my stats remains a challenge, as this aspect can be addictive. We all enjoy that adrenaline rush. Fortunately, Medium nurtures a culture of kindness.

The Science of Kindness

Research indicates that kindness triggers the release of oxytocin, known as the "bonding hormone."

I relish discovering inspiring articles and taking my time to absorb them, as if a close friend had written them. I engage deeply, contemplating the writing style and pondering how I can emulate their fluency. After reading, I celebrate by clapping for the author, appreciating their effort. I love seeing how others express themselves in their profiles, revealing their passions and humor.

Trading Facebook for Medium has had a noticeable impact on my writing skills— I believe they are improving. I'm less anxious about publishing, which is a significant achievement for me.

Furthermore, my reading list is expanding daily. I set a goal of reading 200 books this year, and my list continues to grow. I need to devise a system for selecting what to read, as I tend to get easily excited about new material. Audiobooks have made it even easier to revisit my favorites, especially when narrated by talented readers. I aim to choose the best books to maximize my learning.

I still use Facebook, primarily to share my work and favorite articles. However, my interactions have diminished since I initiated a more mindful approach there. It's disheartening when constructive comments and posts go unnoticed, as the platform often favors more provocative content.

Our biological wiring drives us to pay attention to anything that triggers a response, as this was vital for survival in our ancestors. However, today's stressors are often diffuse and can be detrimental to our health, leading many medical professionals to consider stress a primary health concern.

This is why I appreciate the environment on Medium. It fosters reciprocity, creating a nurturing space for growth. As long as I keep my focus on writing, learning, and connecting with others, I’m content to navigate the addictive aspects of this platform.

Thank you for journeying with me through this experience. What books would you recommend for my reading list to enhance this year?

Welcome to the most supportive online community where you can learn, write, and grow. 🌱

To get started, consider using someone's referral link to create a positive cycle. If you enjoy my writing, please consider using my link. Thank you! 🌟