Our little boy is quite reserved. At just over three years old, he has spent a significant portion of his life amidst lockdowns and social limitations. With no family nearby to support us, my absence from him was mostly for the birth of his sibling, lasting just two days.

Having been shy myself at various points in life, I fear I may have unconsciously passed these traits onto him. However, as his parents, we refuse to define his identity by these characteristics. We dislike labels, and rather than viewing them negatively, we see them as opportunities for him to grow stronger and more resilient.

Like many parents, our goal is to nurture a confident and well-adjusted individual. We believe there are proactive steps we can take to steer clear of negativity that might hinder his development.

# 1. Engage in Social Activities

When I was a few months pregnant, we enrolled Andriel in daycare at the age of two years and four months. This was during a time when restrictions from Covid were starting to ease. Since we lack nearby family, daycare became our best option.

This environment allowed Andriel to create his own space, independent of us, which facilitated his exploration and connection with others outside his family. Although we do have our lazy days, we aim to get outside daily, helping him adapt to various settings. We socialize with friends whenever possible, run errands together, and expose him to a variety of people.

We are fortunate enough to afford several classes for him — he participates in swimming and karate weekly, which has significantly boosted his confidence. Additionally, there are free toddler groups in our area where he can learn and interact with peers.

This new social dynamic has encouraged me to step out of my shell as well, something I didn't realize I needed until I began meeting more parents after the pandemic.

Martin-Pitt from Partnership for Children stated, > “By socializing, your child will learn to foster empathy, improve language skills, discover the concepts of sharing and teamwork, grow more confident, and get better prepared for school. Practicing these concepts through socialization will help children create friendships and therefore learn how to respect others.”

If you have the opportunity to socialize with your child, seize it. It not only benefits you but also enhances your child's overall development.

# 2. Encourage Positive Affirmations

This idea was sparked by a close friend of mine. Recently, I took Andriel to his karate class where he was set to receive a new belt. His excitement waned upon seeing a larger crowd than usual, leading to feelings of overwhelm.

I reminded him that grading sessions are typically busier than regular classes. I assured him that I would be cheering for him and wanted him to enjoy himself. I then prompted him to repeat affirmations after me: - “I am smart. - I am kind. - I am brave. - I am confident. - I am loved. - I am protected.”

We repeated “I am brave” five times, each time with more enthusiasm and a brighter smile. After a heartfelt hug, he felt reassured and proceeded to join the class, gradually moving further away from me as he became more engaged. Within moments, his anxiety had vanished.

We incorporate these affirmations into our daily routine, whether in the car or at bedtime. If I forget a phrase, he reminds me. These affirmations serve as a calming mechanism for him during overwhelming moments, providing familiarity and reassurance.

According to Mindtools, > “These positive mental repetitions can reprogram our thinking patterns so that, over time, we begin to think — and act — differently.”

By nurturing positive thinking from an early age, I believe we can equip our son with tools to manage fear and negativity as he grows.

# 3. Cultivate a Sense of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude can significantly enhance one's mood and outlook, no matter the circumstances. An article from the University of Utah, featuring insights from Dr. Kristin Frances, explains, > “Expressing gratitude can positively change your brain. It boosts dopamine and serotonin, the neurotransmitters in the brain that improve your mood immediately, giving you those positive feelings of pleasure, happiness, and well-being.”

It’s easy to overlook the importance of appreciating daily essentials like food, particularly when many take it for granted. Yet, expressing gratitude for the little joys in life can profoundly impact our happiness.

We cherish the fun moments we share each day — the laughter and the small triumphs, as these are monumental for our child. This practice encourages him to focus on positive experiences rather than negative ones.

When challenges arise, we ask him what lessons he can take away from them, celebrating those insights together. By doing so, we prepare him to respond positively to future challenges.

# 4. Encourage Him to Step Outside His Comfort Zone

This may seem paradoxical, but it makes sense. While we don’t want to force him into situations that cause distress, we do negotiate and encourage him to participate in important activities.

For instance, Andriel woke up eagerly anticipating his first sports day at daycare. However, upon seeing us when we arrived, he rushed over and clung to us, expressing his fear of participating. His teacher tried to coax him back to his class, but he was unwilling.

My husband took his hand and guided him back, sitting with him until it was time to race. When it was his turn, his teacher offered to hold his hand, but realizing it slowed him down, he let go and sprinted ahead. My husband cheered him on loudly from the sidelines.

Andriel completed the day with joy and enthusiasm. Sometimes, children just need a little nudge to help them break through their fears.

Had we not encouraged him, we would have inadvertently reinforced his fear. Pushing beyond comfort zones fosters growth, and doing this early in life will help him navigate challenges healthily, creating lasting memories that will empower him as he matures.

# Conclusion

As parents, it is our responsibility to help our children reach their full potential in a world full of challenges. We aspire for their happiness and growth.

While we may not always have the right answers and will inevitably make mistakes, the key takeaway is that as long as we remain mindful of our actions, our children will thrive. By being present in both the good and the bad moments, we teach them to live purposefully.

To summarize, here are four strategies to foster growth and confidence in children: 1. Socialize — Exposure to varied environments aids adaptation. 2. Practice Affirmations — These will serve as a resource during tough times. 3. Embrace Gratitude — This helps them recognize the positives and motivates achievement. 4. Encourage Risk-Taking — Gently pushing them beyond their comfort zones builds resilience.

What strategies do you implement to boost your child's confidence? Share your thoughts!

Sylvia Emokpae, a thoughtful advocate for self-love, relationships, and motherhood, invites you to explore more of her work. Follow her on Twitter.