Chapter 1: The Lonely Path of Self-Improvement

The journey toward becoming a better version of ourselves often feels isolating.

This loneliness arises from various factors.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

You may hesitate to share your struggles for fear of judgment or ridicule. Others might perceive your efforts as arrogance, allowing their insecurities to surface and challenge your journey.

I've experienced moments when friends, whom I believed were supportive, seemed to turn against me. It's crucial to distinguish between constructive feedback and the negative voices that seek to hinder your progress.

Moreover, the notion of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” promotes a mindset that insists on self-reliance. The belief that asking for help diminishes your achievements is a common pitfall.

I frequently encounter this urge to handle everything independently, yet I must remind myself to reject that notion.

This mentality can lead to feelings of embarrassment. I often felt I needed a certain level of competence before seeking assistance. For instance, I thought I had to master yoga on my own before attending a class, fearing mockery from instructors.

You might also fall into the trap of secretly honing your skills, thinking, “One day, I’ll surprise everyone.” But is that truly who you are?

Again, I challenge that mindset.

Such thoughts are not conducive to growth. While they might provide temporary motivation, they do not foster a healthy, ongoing cycle of self-improvement.

A more constructive perspective is to recognize that you are never truly alone.

As someone of faith, I believe in the constant presence of God. Regardless of what you call it, the essence of being part of a greater universe implies you are not isolated. It requires learning to resonate in harmony with that universe.

In 2 Timothy 1:6–7, the Apostle Paul writes to his mentee Timothy, who is now navigating life independently. Paul reminds him of the strengths he possesses.

“For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:6–7).

You are never alone unless you choose to be; distancing yourself from the divine support available to you.

Good intentions alone are insufficient. Often, we heed external pressures and negative internal dialogues rather than listening to God’s guidance.

You cannot attain peace while feeling ashamed. Guilt, hopelessness, and self-loathing rob you of joy and hinder your progress.

God desires connection and strength for you, which is why Jesus came into the world—to offer love, redemption, and the opportunity to reconnect with the divine.

You are blessed and gifted.

A path to self-improvement exists, one that God is eager to assist you on if you allow it.

Here are three reflective questions to help you assess your current state and identify where to focus your efforts:

1. What am I good at?

   Avoid defaulting to trivial pursuits like binge-watching TV. Instead, consider what naturally comes to mind when you ask yourself this question. If you're struggling, seek guidance from the universe or the Holy Spirit.

Start jotting down your thoughts.

Your top strength may not be the first thing that pops up; it’s often deeper than that. Don’t overthink it—write down your responses swiftly and reflect on them later.

2. How can I enhance my skills in these areas?

Next, inquire, “What am I average at?”

The list of average skills might be the longest. As you compile this list, reflect on how these activities make you feel. Do they empower you or drain your energy? If certain activities leave you feeling low, consider reducing or eliminating them.

Again, if needed, seek insight from the universe.

I transitioned to pastoral work later in life, previously working as a piano technician. In my late thirties, I felt a calling toward ministry, and my piano work began to feel less fulfilling. This shift in sentiment was a clear signal for change.

3. What am I not good at?

This question requires honesty. It’s essential to differentiate between acknowledging shortcomings and feeling ashamed.

This list is crucial as it highlights areas to consider stepping away from.

Yes! It’s okay to stop pursuing activities that undermine your self-esteem. If necessary, delegate these tasks to others or find ways to mitigate their impact on your life.

This introspection—understanding your strengths, average skills, and weaknesses—forms an excellent foundation for your journey.

Take your time. There’s no rush. This marks the beginning of your self-awareness.

Part 2 will delve further into additional questions and strategies for holistic improvement.

If you found this article insightful, consider following my work on Medium.

Chapter 2: Finding Motivation in Your Journey

The first video, "DON'T WASTE ANY MORE TIME AND GET TO WORK," features a compilation of the best motivational speeches aimed at driving success. It encourages viewers to take action and seize their potential.

The second video, “Last Lecture Series: How to Live an Asymmetric Life,” by Graham Weaver, offers insights on achieving a meaningful and fulfilling existence, challenging conventional norms and encouraging personal growth.