Discovering Yourself Through Self-Forgetfulness
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Chapter 1: The Power of Self-Forgetfulness
Freedom emerges from the act of letting go of self-centered thoughts.
I recall viewing an engaging video focused on the concept of disregarding others' opinions. The speaker compellingly stated, "I bet you're always preoccupied with your own thoughts." It conjured the image of someone floating like a ghost, continuously glancing back at themselves, as if they were filming their every move. This is a vivid portrayal of an overthinker—definitely not a 'warrior.'
The solution proposed was straightforward: we must "be ourselves." However, the comments section was filled with confused viewers asking, "How do I discover who I really am?" or "If I knew my true self, I wouldn't care about others, but how can I know who I am?" While the video adeptly highlighted what one should avoid—trying to be someone else—it failed to provide guidance on how to truly "be yourself."
So how can one embark on the journey of self-discovery? It seems that the harder you strive to "be yourself," the more elusive it becomes. Much like someone chasing happiness will find it slipping away, or a person who desperately wants to sleep by fixating on falling asleep will remain awake, trying too hard to "be yourself" leads to disappointment.
Look Beyond Yourself
I came across an intriguing case study that inspires us to look beyond our own reflections and embrace life fully. David Suchet, a renowned actor in the UK, recounts in his autobiography, Behind the Lens (2019), how he once struggled to find his identity in acting. He became fixated on how he should look or act.
However, liberation arrived when he realized that his purpose as an actor wasn't to elevate himself. Instead, it was to remain true to the character he portrayed and to serve the script's writer. He concluded, "I learned that my goal is to serve my writer, not myself."
Example 1: Playing Iago
Suchet provides an example from his performance as Iago in Shakespeare's Othello. Traditionally, actors might focus on showcasing the most sinister version of Iago. However, Suchet chose to delve deeper into the character. He discovered that Iago was portrayed as Spanish, which set him apart from most of Shakespeare's characters, who were typically Italian. This insight suggested that Iago, marked by deep-seated insecurities, was an outsider, leading Suchet to explore the character with a Spanish accent.
His name, akin to "Jack" in English, represents the familiar neighbor next door. This further accentuated Iago's jealousy towards other characters, stemming from a profound sense of insecurity. Ultimately, Suchet's approach made him one of the most respected Shakespearean actors of his era.
Example 2: Serving Agatha Christie
In another instance, Suchet played a character in Agatha Christie's The Mysterious Affair at Styles. He knew that Christie was notoriously critical of actors portraying her characters. After the performance, Christie's daughter, Rosalind Hicks, expressed her belief that her mother would have been pleased. This moment was monumental for Suchet, as he felt he had honored the legacy of the play's creator.
Not Discarding the 'Self'
This perspective does not imply that the 'self' is non-existent. Unlike some interpretations of Buddhism that suggest true enlightenment is about forgetting the self, or pantheistic views that argue one is only as valuable as they merge with the whole, I believe the self is real and significant. We each possess a 'self' through which we think, move, and exist.
Thus, while we should look beyond ourselves, we do not relinquish our individuality.
All the World’s a Stage
Shakespeare's famous line from As You Like It states, "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players." Much like David Suchet, we each have a role to fulfill. We navigate through our personal and professional circles, surrounded by individuals we can serve and causes we can support.
When we begin to focus on our contributions, we naturally shift our attention outward, leading us to forget our own self-centered concerns. The more we invest in meaningful projects, the less we are consumed by our own thoughts.
What will you focus on beyond yourself?
I hope this message has inspired you,
The Modern Scholastic.
The first video titled "Look Away From Yourself" emphasizes the importance of self-forgetfulness in personal growth and offers insights into overcoming self-doubt and anxiety.
The second video, "Being too independent, isolating yourself & running away from God," discusses the dangers of isolation and the importance of community in spiritual growth.